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For
the next three days Ngodup had found a few novices to play with. He had been
lost so. None of his parents had come to him. Especially Dolma must have
deliberately avoided seeing him as she had feared of inciting sort of change in
him. Ngodup hadn't had tiny doubt of his mother studying him from distance. He
had just thought of his mother but not of going to her. Now they had left.
There was still a week ahead to stay as the monks were preparing to go on
pilgrimages. Dadul took Ngodup to different sites, from which he had visited a
few. He just went with him all mute. There were those who made fun of him after
learning that he was from Bhutan. ‘Aku Dukpa’ was his name for the time. He
didn't talk much. He couldn't answer when someone asked his name.
One
evening before a couple of days left for leaving for Varanasi he just rambled
around alone. The place was virtually deserted and littered. The swelling waves
of throngs had disappeared like sand dunes. So those handicapped beggars in rags
had gone out of sight as well. ‘Meri Sati Bai Poone Karo’, the high pitched
intonation haunted the deserted avenue and the intersection. He happened to
walk along further till the point from where he had sudden mind to go to see
the place where they had pitched their tent. He had a sudden dreamy thought of his
mother being there yet. It made him long for his mother for a moment. He walked
on. It was rather unbearable to see the place in litters and deserted.
Everything had been dismantled and gone. The tents on the other side of the
road were being taken down. He just looked at the place and hurried back.
He
was going to learn from Yangzom much later (after 18 years during his second
time home) that when they arrived Phuentsholing Dhargyal didn't show up in the
evening. Dolma sent her to him as she knew he was at the Tibetan restaurant on the Indian side where Tongba was served. Teznin was with them but, as per someone’s
recommendation, in a maroon Goe he had been able to procure. They were at the
same place, the storeroom with a table and chair next by the interior door.
They had been resting there since past midday. Their truck had arrived at
Phuentsholing around 11.30am. It was to leave around 7pm against odd remarks
made by those like driving at night was dangerous, especially at those
precarious points. It was past 6pm. Teznin was sitting on the floor. Dolma was
bit nervous.
‘Oh,
don’t panic. Yangzom can find him and take him back. Then we can leave. It’s
okay. But his intemperance, strange after Kalachakra empowerment. Not having
bit restraint not to take Chang. Here have some snuff instead,’ said Tenzin and
handed over the snuff tin to Dolma. The broad flat part between his nose and
upper lip was tautly unmoving when he talked. It was partly smeared with dark-golden
snuff despite he wiped again and again with a handkerchief that he dodged not
to be spotted when taking out and putting back somewhere in his belt.
As
Yangzom knew the place just on the other side of the deep wide gutter, the
demarcation line between Bhutanese and Indian side, connected with planks to
walk over, she went there with rising anxiety fearing she would find him tight
drunk. There was just unpaved walkway on either side of the gutter. The
Bhutanese side was less crowded and cleaner but the other side was crowded with
odd buildings and shacks. There were two Tibetan families running bars and hotels
with cheap rooms in the odd concrete buildings. The mishmashes of wires
crisscrossed over narrow winding alleys leading to the main street. Even one
side of the narrow walkway just at the edge of the gutter was partly occupied
by hawkers selling cheap things ranging from kitchenware to toys.
There
was a paying counter almost shoulder-high next by the entrance of the bar. It
was old varnished but grimy. It was an oblong piece of box with front drawers.
The rims of the top were bordered with miniature balustrade of whitish metal
with the tops of the balusters pointed with sloping sides. It had been given
such fancy, attachment for being the counter with the drawers to draw money. A chubby guy of dark complexion, who was almost in his mid fifties, was at
the counter on a high metal chair matted with cushion and folded woolen
blanket. His puffy face, stoutness and sitting like rooted there proved his
further degradation into sedentary slothfulness.
The
first room was the proper bar with those grimy wooden tables and chairs. It was
rather dark and packed with tables and chairs. A door at the far back led into
kitchen on the ground floor. There was a concrete staircase with a landing
and iron handrail on one side at one corner leading to the upper floors. Even
the place under the landing was set with a table and chairs. Yangzom found
Dhargyal at one table at the far back with a few others. He was tipsy. She had
trouble approaching him first as she was afraid. But she had to. The rest
tables were occupied by a few like Dhargyal but there were free tables. Dhargyal
was on the side facing the entrance and counter. His two mates, Bhutanese guys
who were back from Kalachkara empowerment and in the same truck, were facing
him with their backs to the entrance. Yangzom timidly approached and called her
father’s name twice.
‘Apa,
Apa, mother sent me here to call you back. The truck was leaving at 7pm,’ said Yangzom
with ‘her heart about to disgorge out of her mouth’. It was her words.
Dhargyal
looked at her followed by his two mates. She was both embarrassed and
frightened. Dhargyal at once began to chat with his mates who were tipsy as
well. The younger one like in his late thirties was more impressed by
Dhargyal’s drunk jabbering. He looked from Dhargyal to Yangzom who was standing
a few paces away between the tables.
‘See,
she is my daughter who knows nothing. Mercy for her. She knows nothing. Okay,
okay, Apa will come now,’ said Dhargyal while the younger one laughed
foolishly.
Dhargyal
stood up and followed Yangzom.
Ngodup
had found out Dadul had a novice disciple named Jampa who was two years younger
than him. He was with him. He was from a South Indian Tibetan settlement near
Drepung Gomang monastery. Ngodup found him frisky, fussy and with a sort of
disorder for his laughing heartily and long for nothing until his whole face
turned dark red. He was of natural short stature. There was another novice
named Tsering from Nepal with bright complexion. ‘Inji’ those novices called
him for his fairness and blondish hair. He was taller and of Ngodup’s age. He
was half Tibetan and half Nepalese of Tibetan origin. He was also known as
Dhadha, sort of ringleader, as he had a few novices back there at the monastery
who took his orders. Jampa was under him. There was another named Kaldor who
was crippled but active. The elders would called him Kangkyok as he was
crippled and lame from he was so small. He was of Jampa’s age but more
independent. Even if he was under Tsering, he didn’t take so. He acted like he
had guts to fight back to redeem his image any time. So Tsering couldn't act
his superiority showily before him. They were in the same tent with their
elders or guardian-masters who were all aged. They were Ngodup’s temporary
friends. Ngodup had times to loiter around the stupa and go on
pilgrimages with them.
‘Pugu
Sarpa’ (new boy) was the name given to Ngodup for his muteness by Tsering whose
Tibetan was rather variable with heavy Nepalese accent. And Ngodup took it. He
lost with them. He didn't think about home at all.
When
it was time to move for Varanasi and stay there for a week to do pilgrimages
around, he remembered going in an old bus painted white and blue with barred
windows. It was like 6 hours drive till they were disgorged on a roadside. It
was said Chinese temple with a gate with sloping double slate-roofs. It was to walk
in but not into the temple but around into its backyard, the spacious yard with
big mango trees that exuded an air of oldness. It was dark and cool in the
grove like an oasis after scorching heat on the way. It was like walking into a
wonder garden after lurid glare of the white painted walls, burning asphalt
roads and sultry heat.
Everyone
began to unroll their baggage and occupy their places under those fat trunked
shady mango trees with lush dark-green leaves. It was their camp as well. There
they were free to use kerosene stoves to prepare food and tea. Dadul prepared a plain
tea without milk and sugar to have some Tsampa. Ngodup was given his share.
Jampa sat beside him. He displayed his seniority at every given moment.
‘Sartomba’, namely ‘blockheaded new’, he would call Ngodup when he found him
acting out of his way.
Within
a couple of days more monks had arrived. The most mango trees had been
occupied. There was an elderly monk like in his late thirties just a few paces
off them. He was alone. Ngodup found him interesting for his being rather odd
among others. He just sat there with his belongings scattered around him. In
such heat he had a furry sort of upper wear. At one time he was finding
something in the white fur by taking it off. He was picking up lice among it or
passing his time so. He was a huge man of immense built with strong limbs. But
he looked overpowered by heat and lethargy associated with it. The skins of his
chest and back were infested with reddish heat-pimples. He scratched them again
and again rather violently. His face was that of early man type unwashed and
coarse with grime. He sat with his legs stretched. He was just taking in the
coolness the place offered. Ngodup was going to learn later that he was a new
comer from Tibet, who had come to Kalachakra empowerment by braving through
hazardous terrains of snows and Chinese border guards’ secondly surveillance so
ready to shoot out even a dark moving speck on the infinite whiteness. He was
going to learn he was one of them who had sacrificed their lives to enter India
to have a blessing audience with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. The shocking
parts he was going to learn were those losing lives, being caught and
incarcerated, losing limbs as of snow-bites, and more interestingly, those
venturing further into exile after release from 2 to 6 months incarceration
under tortures and harassing interrogations.
But
for now Ngodup found him like an alien one. He didn't interact with others. He
was all alone, topless and taking in the coolness like he had come to India to
get it.
Ngodup
found time to go out with Kaldor. He learned from him he was from a Tibetan
camp near Drepung Gomang. He emphasized camp number 5 of Mundgod. His emphasis
meant for the best camp, the richest. His being crippled had affected both his
growth and gait like trampling more on one side when his whole figure moved.
But he could run pretty fast. He was in an old yellow singlet and faded red
garment like a small skirt. The thinness of the cloth of his garment
accentuated the deformity of one side of his buttock that protruded more. He
knew about here as of his coming here after the earlier Kalachakra empowerment
at Bodh Gaya. He led Ngodup to the park off the vast spacious compound of the
towering ancient Dhamek stupa of bare-brick circular mound known for its being
enshrined with the relics of Lord Buddha and his disciples. The reserved park
was vast with dried tuft stubble and ruins. The unpaved walkway along one side
was just alongside woods. There was a zoo nearby but he led him to the children
playground with swinging post, see-saw, slide, a turning one with round
plank-floor and hand bars holding almost more than 5 children. Ngodup was
fascinated by the spacious playground of oblong plot with ragged low hedge
partly impaired. They played there for long till towards the afternoon. Tsering
and Jampa came as well. But Ngodup went more with Kaldor.
They
visited it again the following days. It was on the last day before leaving that
Dadul led Ngodup to the temple of dark-grayish stone-walls within the Dhemak
stupa compound but almost 200 yards off it. The plots of lawns around the
temple as demarcated by well-maintained low hedges dotted with Ashoka trees
were being watered and manicured by white muslin Dhoti clad Indians. The
walkway around and broad front part of the temple were slab-paved and clean. It was
around 8.30am. The paved front yard was packed with devotees. They stood in the
queue of single file. It was the day to reveal the prime relic, a relic of Lord
Buddha, of the temple to the devoted public. Ngodup was going to learn about it
only when he was inside and next to the one before. A young Tibetan lay guy
flanked by two saffron clad Indian monks was standing next to the quadrangle
glass case with sloping four sided golden roof set on a clothed table. The
young Tibetan guy must have been called from Institute for Higher Tibetan Studies to
translate the significance of the relic to the devoted visitors. Ngodup only
had an angle view of his face like a flash as was his time to stand and look
through the glass case.
‘Look
carefully! Those tiny dark dots like tiny pills were Lord Buddha’s…,’ said the
young Tibetan guy. Ngodup didn't get the latter when his time was over.
He
didn'thave the interest to ask Dadul about it. Dadul didn’t ask him either as
he was going to ask later like what the disciplinarian had said during a congregation
recess as to test or see if he had attended the congregation or not.
Ngodup’s time at Varanasi was even more fun-filled with Kaldor. He was both adapted and experiencing more. It was almost like the validity of his blind attachment to his family and mother was almost over ever. The time here at cleaner Varanasi was over too.
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