Sunday, March 27, 2011

Spare Me!




Introspection

Even the impression formed from skimming over works out here amid grey dimming twilight—the grace laden lines by thou, my great one, strike an accidental spark, to self mirror or self-scan so far. The lonely figure replicates but out of a rendered seriousness, now no more room for romps and pranks. The crudity of process finds the roughness of in what state it dwells, projects, drifts and self-creates an array of alternately overlapping texture of discriminating thought-web. Found yet discontent, a countless petty reasons to pick up trifling ones attached to. It finds the nearby lonely neem tree limp and grit coated out of the scorching day’s fatigue but, now, its top twigs with sparse fragile leaves sway in a rejoicing gyrate to the incoherent tune of abruptly blowing breezes. It finds it as a practical peace it hasn’t. A scattered fleet of cawing crows fly over it for their time home again, the same boring rite as it finds, to charge up the energy to caw again the next morning. A cyclic rite. It, too, has its own, damn it! Just damn it! It hasn’t the guts or isn’t allowed to act the other way, the luminous way. Really spoiled pampered in this damn superficial world. Thus, it invokes and longs for the better one by doing the same for Doomsday, so timely now. This world is almost rotten. So the inner world of this lonely figure is. To do so is to learn for being placid even in the first place.


Postscript: It’s a first timer’s crude experiment with the touch of cynicism patent as it finds in real term happening around and afar. So don’t take it seriously! Care + Appreciation + Worth Lived & Living + Tryst with Destiny = My Priority

Friday, March 25, 2011

A Personal Journal


March 17, 2011

Karnataka University, Dharwad
Department of Dr. Ambedkar Studies: Site Work at Mundgod Tibetan Settlement

A talk on The Principle of Buddhism Organized and Facilitated by Drepung Gomang Monastic University

As Geshe Samten, the chief administrator of our monastic administration, did ask for my help a week earlier as with the said intention for the monastic wellbeing to be able to organize such interacting talk with the group of Dalit students and teachers, Buddhist converts or to be converted, from the university, I was informed last evening by the informant Chabril that it’s going to be this morning at 11:00am with the requested speaker Geshe Lobsang Gyaltsen La. But it can begin almost at 12:00pm at the monastic assembly hall on the top of the grand prayer hall. Through my first time translation assignment, which I take as an opportunity worth optimizing, I first fail to remain calm by knocking down the water bottle before me with my hand as I sit down, but, fortunately, it doesn’t fall down on the carpeted floor but the disposable paper glass. I feel stuck incoherent as I try to translate Geshe La’s first greeting speech, but I find relaxed later being able to keep up with what I should say. But I can’t carry on further, when complaint is made through Geshe Samten La that most of them can’t catch up with my English as of their core medium for their academic fields is Kannada. Right there, after discussing it with the speaker Geshe La, I ask them if my translation is helpful or not. There is a low roar of laughter. I add if they find the talk rather tedious as from the way some of them express being seemingly indifferent, they should put forward so or come up next time, if possible, with more active program; you can ask for question answer session longer. But a single comment isn’t made. I carry on until that short grey haired monk form Gaden, who is called for help by Geshe Sherap La for his fluency in Kannada, arrives and takes my seat. Before his arrival I can translate an answer to the question raised by the student, bearded but shaved with brighter complexion and more formal or sedate demeanour, who is more educated and proficient in English as I find later through being friendly with him only except the frisky professor who later, as there is only me to help them to fulfil their task of family background information questionnaire to be collected at the camp going at the doorsteps of those households by being polite, sticks to me and tries to flatter me. But I find him good after all despite his seeming easygoing air like asking me, “Do I look young? Have I melted the lady’s, the one at the representative office who we approach for permission to be able to go out at each doorstep for collecting the data (the chief representative is out on a duty tour), heart as she accepts my request instantly?” In that case I find him rather silly not like a real professor. I later learn from a student that he has LLM and PhD in a field. But his easygoing and rather itchy air is nothing other than an Indian youth possesses and acts before a girl. So he does before the short but cute smiling student girl. As I try to please him telling he is really brilliant and skilful in doing so, he pauses in a suppressed joy and bursts, “Am I? You should tell so before them, the students.” Such is the simplicity they can be rated, I find so from my coming into contact on several occasions with Indian youths being so.

The Kannada speaking monk’s seeming fluency does help them a lot. The young professor, the slim frisky guy in clear glasses and white cotton trousers and shirt, later tries to flatter him to stay with them, but he can’t as he says he is busy after the brief lunch arranged by Geshe Sherap La by ordering South Indian cuisine from Mundgod. The talk is over but there is touring the monastic temples and the new task of collecting the questionnaire data, for which I have to devote my time on Geshe Samten La’s request.

During the Kannada translation period the crippled lady student, who is rather different from the others speaking less, makes comments on those residential, hostel buildings and grand congregation halls in the monastery. Her point seems to be drawing the paradox between a monastery and the seeming luxurious disclosures. She is partly right but doesn’t know how a monk’s life is in real term at his quarter. I think my instant impression of taking her remarks out of jealousy must be false.

The other short and dark lady with spotted face in a limp salwar kameez outfit, who I learn from her holds PhD in Buddhism and is fluent in English but doesn’t talk much, puts forward why this monastic university doesn’t carry out such sort of educational activities like seminar and talk with the local ones. It’s a hard hit, I find. To her answer the speaker Geshe la says that it’s mainly of communication problem. Even if he’s right, it’s rather raw-cut self exposition in such poor way. A university with communication problem isn’t possible in a standardized norm she holds. She adds it’s, however, solvable only for some problem with accent of English. She still doesn’t get him. How she can! I ponder over her question and find it worth heeding in the long run. Her point in gaining publicity for others’ welfare rather than remaining shut off is a timely call or challenge against how we run our traditional learning schemes without any reforms when the world is talking about revolution in education system. Even if our case is different from conventional learning for learning monastic studies, in true intention, should be conformed to the practice of Buddha Dharma, namely to be intended for liberating practice, the case now has affected a lot as of the challenging changes. That way it can be linked up to the standardized norm of conventional learning system by preserving the core bases. Her remarks, must be out of her concern and sincerity, leave me pondering over: We should do something!

The professor guy, the one in charge of mustering and heading the group with an older senior one who seems to be inactive and demure, stands up and puts forward in a rather lecturing style as for his being a lecturer. He only adds to the former suggestive question of the importance of disseminating through such activities. He speaks about the translation of Bible, Koran, Gita and other prime religious literatures in multi-lingual corpus and implies the same importance of translating prime Buddhist ones so.
*
After having the permission from the representative office we begin our data collecting task at the camp # 3 visiting the core area at almost most households. I try my best to appear deferential and yielding to their demands like asking why we are here and so on. Accompanied by the bearded but shaved student with bright complexion (sorry I can’t get his name here), who holds Master degree in Botany and is after his PhD in it, I find most of the visited ones polite and yielding, good Tibetans, only the one, the lady in a sort of loose outfit sends us around rather than treating us with telling about her family. She sends the chubby topless boy, may be her son, with bulging stomach and spiky hair to show us the way around through the crude fence with a crude gate made of bound twigs and thorny bushes. Thanks he helps us. After lifting the barricade open by the boy we are in the unpaved narrow yard that leads to the yet unfurnished low mud tiles roofed ramshackle house at ground level with the crude wooden door locked with the old fashioned bolt on the grimy door plank. An aged lady in grubby Tibetan Chuba and apron stands next by the door. I greet her. She nods and speaks a sort of life difficulty through her sunken eyes and wrinkled grime coated facial expression. She looks feeble. When I introduce about our coming here, she says, “Only we two old are here.”   

I get from her remarks plus air that they, the aged ones, don’t have anyone who looks after them. Her partner isn’t around. After getting the material regarding her social background, we leave through the other way out. I tell the student about her, how poor she is… He remains silent. But he is impressed by those well maintained flower beds of the other households and strong physiques of our people he finds so. “We are lazy and can’t maintain such home gardens. I find them beautiful. Your people are strong,” he says in a low tone as we move from one door step to another.

Almost at 5:45pm we can round up at the site, the main piazza. I find all of them have finished their shares of assignment. I am pleased that I can gratify their wish by visiting or leading to the households here only. No, they can’t bear any longer and don’t have time too. Thanks for their ride up to the monastery in their reserved bus and for being considerate to offer a donation to the monastery.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Denounce Me



 Uncivilized I’m displaced pariah,
Wilder I may turn bellow-hurrah,
Call me uncultured rights-deprived—
The strain-burden, I identity halved,
Has turned me this strained freaky,
Can hurl ‘absurdity + scum quirky.’

I, now, like what I deserve tagged,
Heats my blood, desperately ragged.
Nay, a fakir I’m; can’t levitate yonder,
Just imbued solitude, vagrant wayfarer—
Now, this pain is my relief, a respite,
Churned out desperation intoxicated.

Denounce Me!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Kalon Tripa Election 2011: For My Fellow Tibetans Diaspora


Taking one's gifted franchise at such fated juncture, casting one's ballots secretly unbiased, I do so seriously wish  this milestone afar as not to take a dirty turn but to come together shoulder by shoulder and arm in arm, we the fated ones here scattered... Only wholehearted unity wins but not unpractical allegiance! We belong together ever! Why cast here, we ramblers? 
Love You All!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Japan Earthquake: For the victims at large



Fated Planet

Let’s hold the only ledge from crumbling so…!
Lo, the devouring abyss swirls, the cruelty reaches,
The vortex invincibly fated, the snatched lives howl
Amid stranding jerks n deafening splashes whooping.
The bellowing billows conjure up the tricks, gone ever,
The instantaneous theatrical thrills, the tragedy once again—
‘The strongest’ but only for the deeper impressions bereaved.

Let me mouth my sincere prayers choked incoherently moved,
The precipitous swooping tides a distant soul left shuddered,
A forced cry of benediction muted here but does carry on,
The forced-departed souls feel, this sincerity persists.
Yet the blankets of flames like an alien rage inbred,
The water surfaces flaring shown a childish touch.
Let’s hold the only ledge from crumbling so…!

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Things We Should Be Aware Of: So Timely


March 5, 2011.

With Tsondue to Mundgod: Ensure If You Have Some Change before Leaving There

After returning back from the village restaurant, thanks for his lunch on Tibetan New Year, we, as his wish, go to the roadside refreshment café, where many Tibetans go for juice, ice cream, beverage drinks, soda, etc. It’s all about how the Indian guy at the counter, bespectacled with white glasses, in his shabby cotton shirt and trousers behaves when I hand over the Rs.500 note. He turns it over and gives it back saying its bit torn but not missed part isn’t acceptable. As I say it’s okay, he just shakes his head in defiance. I take out the Rs.1000 note, the only I have, and hand it over to him. He looks up at me and says, “You monks produce only such notes, five hundred or thousand. That’s why you monks are said to have a lot of money.” I am bit irritated. I think and try to reason for the recent offerings made at the prayer congregation for Loser as to avoid such sheer misunderstanding. But he is deaf and so swift to defend his exaggerated ground, “No, it isn’t for recent case only but always.” As he counts some hundred notes as return change, I ask him if he has got a five hundred change for my convenience. And here he is more rough proving his jealousy and says, “Oh, I want to give back in Rs.10 change rather than hundred. If you monks bring such note, how we won’t run out of change.” I retreat to answer the incoming call and ask Tsondue to take back the change.

Wanting to give back in Rs.10 change is something I find as his pointless retaliation picking up from learning what I don’t like. See, how poor for him for not being hospitable to a monk customer producing five hundred and thousand note by chance only. How he would believe about the recent such offerings made for the mass monks during the prayer congregation. How he would know almost 95% monk-students are entirely dependent on offerings made at a prayer as the only source of pocket money. How he knows about a monk, a single one, is always poor at being sparing in spending for edible stuffs; they have this much and it isn’t of any use for saving, only if there are very a few such ones. So, in their eyes (those Indians running sort of businesses), monks are found such extravagant. Only if they can come closer to a monk’s life, they would learn the fact gradually. No, they don’t do so and are indifferent to firsthand learning or reporting. They’re just jealous in such misconstrued way.

Now it’s time to be more cautious for not coming out as catching as in that way. Yes, we should know how to deal with them with change. I have found such cases earlier, reacting rather furiously for producing even 100 or 50 note for paying like taxi fare. We should learn how to act to their tunes and tastes by learning about our host local norm.
*
A Source of Possible Conflict: Beware!

From the garrulous jeep driver, the Indian guy in his forties, I learn about another disturbing thing but hear him talking so to two of the monk-passengers in jeep, one by him whose Hindi is rather broken as for being from Tibet but the other one at the back of the driver who speaks Hindi fluently as he is from a Himalayan region. As we bump along the damaged road, he seems to be like chasing to find someone of us (Tibetans) to speak with about it, which proves his or jeep wala’s quest for backing from our side to boycott hiring a three wheeled auto rickshaw, their only contenders now. He says there was a gathering among auto wala a few days ago when he was asked to join but he refused. It was for charging up sort of anti-Tibetans sentiment by misinforming that Tibetans hold prejudiced view against local Indians here. He adds there was also about the same on a local Kanada daily and TV news channel. Can it be true? I think it can be so far as of the growing such racial prejudices plus jealousy attracted by our own state of being rather oblivious to the local patterns.

As Drepung has already been restricted by the monastic disciplinarians with the prudent anticipation for not getting embroiled in such further possible conflict like happened once here recently (the two monks beaten and robbed by auto drivers) and many times at Bylakuppe Tibetan settlement, especially the serious one last year with auto wala, he says knowingly, “One from Drepung would always go in jeep taxi not like those of Gaden, who hire auto. See what will happen between them like the case happened at Byalkop. Such will happen only between you (Tibetans) and auto wala, not between us, jeep wala, and auto wala; what they can do for us.”

His remarks on jeep wala with their bordered part to be covered, must be marked after a small conflict, being long friendly ones not like those auto wala seem to be plausible so far on the ground of being so despite lacking the sense of mutual dependency-friendship. But he only tries to draw such and such gaps between Tibetans and auto wala only, not expressing jeep wala’s hold against auto wala but implying it so strongly in every single word he speaks.

Yes, it must be true a group of auto wala approached Drepung Monastic disciplinarian (Gomang as I learned from someone) last year just after the prohibiting announcement had been made at the congregation, but no further comment. It must have been settled peacefully. They must have pointed out about considering for this means of livelihood of theirs, as it’s.

As I study roughly the case of more autos stationed at the Tibetan camp like those four-wheeled mini pickups in a single side by side row (there were almost not less than 10) idling alongside the road at Mundogd can be of being cost effective, cheap and compact.

What we should be highly aware of is about such dire possibility of racial conflict ignited by baseless prejudices against each other. We, especially monks (juniors), should be imbued with more discipline plus local knowledge through guidance by the concerned seniors. Yeah, the case of such discipline, the respect for elders, has been going down so sadly even among the internal loop.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Happy Tibetan Losar (New Year)--2138!


 
March 5, 2011.

Happy Tibetan New Year! Losar La Tashi Delek, the wish-fulfilling greeting mouthing at high pitch voices can be heard in the early morning accompanied by those disturbing cracker-booms after the last a couple of years of silence expressing solidarity to peaceful protests all over Tibet by Tibetans against the tyranny of Chinese rule (that cost many lives, atrocities, detention, long-term incarceration) and the later mourning for the earthquake disaster at Gyegudo that cost such havoc on many lives and immensely large scale destructions. For me, as of the last a couple of years’ silence, namely not celebrating Losar with the heightened sensibility above this pettiness I don’t feel at ease even this year. But fireworks hadn’t been allowed for many years and this year seems to be much freer—can be the prize for the past a couple of years’ retreat! Yeah, hearing the early morning high pitched greetings and bangs and booms of crackers, the novices’ fun time, draw me aback much early, when as a child how much I had enjoyed having funs with crackers during many Losar times. The reminiscence yields to appreciating their innocent joys and funs. 

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Like Your Every Single Word!






Even a broken stanza--
Non-metric-rhymed--
Serves feel not learn
How it takes n reacts:
A poetic burden sheds.

I like every single word,
An offshoot sincere--artistic or simple.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Why I Happened to Say So Yet?


Now words trite crippled,
Limping stiff hackneyed--
Do lend me thy tongue,
Let me hath my last lounge
Being able say I do see:
I've now come know thee.



A serendipity caught by me: See how stupid I am only taking so by finding this analogy between  it and this yet drifting entity