What It Is: My New Faith

From the fading ripple of a merry laughter to the erased memory of a contorted expression revealing the inner jumble, then why not countless middle-realm states, a soul bearing reactions to the complex vibes that of physical and mental world around can be traced back only in a dreamy way like how the passing moment and vibe roll back in such way. An artistic revelation or gained magic in the process of constructing his art, an aesthete’s sincere admiration of the beauty in any layers depth, a master-spirit’s dedication, a genius’ discovery, etc. remain no asunder despite the taken thought-burdens. A revolution to evolution; a peek to a close long look; a glimpse to a tedious view; a glance to a stare; a retort to a harangue; a pat to a caress; a moment of sensual feeling to a lasting curiosity… Count on! How true a sensual pleasurable feeling is just a moment interregnum between the fall of a pain in greater quantity and the rise of a pain in lesser quantity like how one burdened with a huge load on the back senses a moment joy when taking rest under the shade of a tree after walking long in the beating sun, but resting long itself is pain when the fatigue is long gone—harnessing oneself to the load, getting up with the support of one’s hand and taking steps ahead, one senses the moment feeling of ease from the source of the former pain. Empty itself is pain but filling can’t be joy at all when it exceeds.

Other than what taught in Tibetan Buddhism about the illusory nature of existing in name only (the naming that exists in name only as by being there what to be named, in entire search of which the naming can’t be found as an absolute entity but stops there just as the name), the magical affect it gives, the dreamy world that can be perceived even by a commoner is more shocking. But we’re the one who are endowed with the intuition of condoning, forgiving, overlooking and forgetting…  So we repeat…

And to dream on to eternity by being immature ever or to stop dreaming by subduing to a numbed one or to wish for becoming permanently erased from such existence. Have I reached the climax?

Haunted

Hayange: a random one from a web source (but it looks the same now)

Giving my ears to their sayings over a good dinner, as I was invited for being a new here and thanks for their kindness after all, and giving nods and showing proper facial expressions as not to appear as rather facetious to their self-adventures, I couldn't stop summing up the whole conversation and vibe and interpreting them  as what they were--is life really that petty? But their whole complex beings must be still latent like in a limbo. In such a far off alien land, some one and half an hour distant from Paris, we happened to carry on such a predestined sort of native gathering amid sham of not feeling where we stood and farce of how we cracked a joke with a few picked up French words like d'accord, voila, merci beaucoup, tres bien, etc.

A faltering will cries alone but still struggles on... Yes, we are who repeat only. And I want to ask does ego save one from being brazen that seems to count what to gain temporary advantages as talked about? Or does the whole countenance of decency have a lurking foul backdrop?

But I got this point everyone feigns like how a penguin recomposes and stalks with a proud gait after a stumble. To put it frankly the noble task of introspecting seems to exist in verbal flare only.

Lo, the savior flees!

For monstrous we break into such spree.

Hark, the loving word isn’t unconditionally blunt;

It can turn into a slashing blade in any time grunt.

An easy-going façade,

A jumble of inner arcade. 

Hold us even for being alien ici,

For we’re lost in sorting out what we’re generic. 

Please tread on softly........!

Oddity, what a commoner's life is infested, ambivalently fussy... Yeah, to stalk and peep from different angles to quench this thirst, the condition for what is taken as 'love' 'trust', the emaciated delicate sentiments. 

Found me completely now? Or yet to go through the same? Wish it's the former, for the latter this scavenger is stripped naked, got nothing sort of scintillating scrap for you now. 

Have mercy, please, for not drawing up another limbo for this crude heart that wishes to harden into its own rather than trying to mould into another shape in vain. 

Thanks, got your words and be it so ever! How possible, the highest bloated illusion it has carried on, from like thou... Please let it rest or freak now! 

Why I read War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

The last three paragraphs of War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy: How they analyze the ultimate reality of being dependent rather than being inherently independent but leaving like saying it as the best of far depth knowledge or reality and welcoming sharper challenges. How his hold corresponds with our Middle-view notion of Dependent Origination in terms of laws of causality for impermanent phenomena—such laws covering both impermanent and permanent phenomena don’t seem to come along his way of such sharp analysis. His term ‘inevitability’ gives such strong stress on the fact of the conditions giving a certain complex reaction rather than taking ignorantly as created by an unknown absolute entity. His term ‘free will’ ‘freedom’ of personality catch the same vivid depth of what is regarded as the direct opponent to the fact of causality.

“As in the question of astronomy then, so in the question of history now, the whole difference of opinion is based on the recognition or non-recognition of something absolute, serving as the measure of visible phenomena. In astronomy it was the immovability of the earth, in history it is the independence of personality—free will.

Thanks Yeshi and Dechen for this wonderful gift! 

As with astronomy the difficulty of recognizing the motion of the earth lay in abandoning the immediate sensation of the earth’s fixity and of the motion of the planets, so in history the difficulty of recognizing the subjection of personality to the laws of space, time and cause lies in renouncing the direct feeling of the independence of one’s own personality. But as in astronomy the new view said, ‘It is true that we do not feel the movement of the earth, but by admitting its immobility we arrive at absurdity, while by admitting its motion (which we do not feel) we arrive at laws’, so also in history the new view says, ‘It is true that we are not conscious of our dependence, but by admitting our free will we arrive at absurdity, while by admitting our dependence on the external world, on time and on cause, we arrive at laws.’

In the first case it was necessary to renounce the consciousness of an unreal immobility in space and to recognize a motion we did not feel; in the present case it is similarly necessary to renounce a freedom that does not exist, and to recognize a dependence of which we are not conscious.”